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YOU HAVE PARTS YOU CAN CHANGE |
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| Identity |
I think there's a part of you... that for such a long time...that
has been longing to be rid of that fear... and I think that there is part
of you that knows that that fear was useful... it did good for you... but
now it is time for it to be retrained... it is time for it to change into
something else... |
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| Memory |
I think you will be surprised by the fact that you already
know how to do that... that there have been time in your life... when you
did give up control and you enjoyed it... and you just felt... well...
ordinary... you just felt the way you should feel... and then that
particular trance comes back again... and that fear comes across... |
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and you know, that fear is trying to do something for you...
trying to keep you safe... it's trying to protect you in some way... |
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Reframe |
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And so, Carl, I am going to talk to you about
some ideas... that you may find interesting... you may be want to think about
them... |
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non-specific |
| Identity |
and these ideas have to do with the different parts of you... |
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| Capability |
and it can be a very rewarding experience to discover that
you have been aware all along of the real reason why you have this fear... and
that fear seemed so strong and so overpowering... but it is now the case
that that other part of you ... that part of you that wants to be rid of
it... is now able to overcome that fear... that part of you that wants to
be rid of it... I think that you can feel it growing... changing... |
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I think
you can feel that old part becoming weak and dull and darkening... like a lamp flickering before it goes out.... |
D |
Metaphor |
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and you have no need or desire
to be fearful at sudden changes any more... |
D |
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| Identity |
And part of you maybe knows that it will be easy to change...
that change can be instant... change will be irreversible... and really
you like change... you know you like change... so many things have changed
for good... and that part of you versus the part that has the fear...
the part that wants to change will easily win... because you are stronger
than any fear created by your own mind... |
> |
Reframe change |
| Capability |
you have already demonstrated with your eye muscle control
that you can control every part of yourself even if you aren't aware of
how you are doing it... |
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YOU CAN CHANGE THE OLD PART |
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| Behaviour |
and you can now empower that part that wants to be rid of
the fear... |
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| Behaviour |
...to just get rid of the fear... |
D |
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| Behaviour |
The fear was useful... at a time... but that time is long
gone... the time now is for you to give it up... just let it go... |
D |
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| Behaviour |
You have continued to be fearful... but really it is more
like a habit... and from
this moment forward, you will be aware of when that old feeling just begins
to start... |
D |
Reframe |
| Capability |
and you will be able to extinguish it instantly, the way
people stub out a cigarette... just press it down and crush it...and it
will go out... and there will be nothing left but the ashes of that old
fear that you can just sweep away |
D |
Action Metaphor |
| Capability |
and you can go forward and have whatever you want now |
> |
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I think you have become a little bored with that... I think
you realise... I think the fear realises... that it is time to grow up...
it is time to be rid of it... and all the negative and painful consequences
it had... |
D |
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And I think you have already started the process of getting
rid of that fear... |
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Bind |
| Capability |
and you will find that getting rid of it will be easy...
it will be effortless.. there will be no struggle... |
D |
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the same way you can take your foot off the brake on a car
and the car will just start to roll forward... and I think you will feel
your change accelerating... |
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Metaphor |
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and you might get giddy with excitement at the change...
and you can look forward to it... and you can enjoy that feeling of not
being in control... because not being in control is a kind of control... |
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Reframing |
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and maybe you have driven an automatic car, or you know someone
who does and you know that you just take you foot off the brake and the
car goes forward on its own. And that's not being under control... you
don't have to change the gears...and some people find that a little disconcerting
to start with, and they say 'Oh, I don't have control...' and you know
I don't think anyone has ever driven an automatic car and gone back to a
geared car again... because it is so tiring having to be in control all
the time... having to change gears and push the clutch... to think about
what is coming up and whether you are going to have to use this gear or
that gear or whatever... |
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Metaphor |
| Memory |
It is so much easier to just allow yourself to forget about
those things... forget about that old way of doing things.. and in a modern
car... you just press the accelerator and everything else is taken care
of...you can go wherever you want to go ... you can do whatever you want
to do... in that kind of car.. and it just...goes forward. |
I |
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| Memory |
And sure you have control through the brake... you don't
need anything else... and all the rest is taken care of unconsciously...
and people who are used to driving geared cars... well you know, in a day
or two they forget all about the clutch and the gears and so on... and they
realise that giving up control is a way of getting more control... of being
in control... and as that car goes round corners and up and down... they
are safely strapped in the seat... and you can go wherever you want to go...
and it is such relief not to have to worry about every little thing... not
to be anticipating what gear do I need to go into when I go into this hill,
you just have press the accelerator and all the rest is taken care of by
that other part. |
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ASK PERMISSION TO CONTACT THE PART |
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And I want you now, to go deep inside your own mind, Carl,
and as you go deeper with every breath, I wonder how deeply you can in the
next minute... experience that part of you... that I will call your unconscious
fear, although you may know it as something else... the thing that has
been responsible for your problems... for your worries... |
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and it is all
wrapped up with this feeling of fear of being touched at the waist... or
tickled... or when you got bounced up and down... that's what it is about.... |
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Specific to this client |
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And that thing has been responsible for your
problems... and you can address them today... you can address that fear
directly... it might seem a strange thing to do... but it is part of you...and
so you have control... and part of you already knows you have control ...
and it has really just been a fear of the fear... that has allowed that
other part to keep going. |
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Mind reading |
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And perhaps you can ask your unconscious now, to show you
that it is willing to allow you talk to that fear... to address it... deal
with it... and you can ask your subconscious to move a finger or a thumb
to let you know that you can go on... and be safe and secure... and make
the changes that you need to make... just focus on your hands... and a
finger or thumb will start to move and you can go on... |
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Talking directly to the unconscious |
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[finger moves] |
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That's good... that's right... I see that... your subconscious
has signaled... |
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EXAMINE AND APPRECIATE THE PART |
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And you know, this change that you are making... it's a very
private thing... no one needs to know... and you can... be aware of how
you can make that change... and still be safe... and still keep everything
working the way it should do... |
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Safety |
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and maybe you can imagine a whole load of compasses... and
all the needles are pointing in one direction now.. and how once they are
all lined up... everything just works together... the way it should be |
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Metaphor for travel |
| Capability |
And I don't know how you will understand that fear part of
you... the part that believes you need to be anxious and in control...
or what special language will allow you to deal with it... speak with it
perhaps... communicate somehow... and I don't know what particular methods
you will use to make sure the whole of you stays safe while you are dealing
with this... but you will find it... you will know the right way to do
it... because you know you can.... |
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| Identity |
Because you know, Carl, every part of you is good... is
worthwhile... every part... no matter how annoying or negative it might
have seemed it did intend a good purpose... but it is like compass spinning
round blindly... and can imagine one part of you like a magnet... till
all those compass needles are pointing in the right direction... the direction
you want to go... the change you want to make... |
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Metaphor |
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And compasses can lead you into new areas, safely... and
you always know where you are with a compass...you always know what direction
you can go... |
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Truism |
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And so...as you go into you own mind... you can seek answers
to some important questions that you need to understand in order to achieve
your goals.... and you can concentrate intently on that internal communication...
and it can become so clear now as you recognise that part of you has been
keeping this fear going... and part of you has been trying to get rid of
that fear... |
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| Capability |
and that today ... right now... the part of you that's trying
to get rid of it has this extra strength and ability |
D |
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and the part of you that has been keeping that fear alive
really wants to change... knows that it wants to change... willing to make
the change... |
D |
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And I would like you now... silently, in whatever way you
feel is best... to talk to that part of you that keeps the fear going...
and ask it to tell you... or to let you know what the benefits have been...
what the pay off is to you... |
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and I understand that the behaviour of that part has caused
you suffer negative and unhealthy consequences... but I want to suggest
to you now that you just reconsider your understanding of that behaviour....and
realise that the intention of that fear part was always good.... it always
wanted to benefit you...it's a good part of you ... and you can keep that
part safe as well... and release it from its task |
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Reframe |
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And take some special time now... and go deep inside your
own mind... and discover the benefits it was doing for you... and you could
be surprised maybe to discover that all these benefits are things that you
really want... |
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and you could be surprised that it is comfortable
and safe for you to become aware of them... what it is that that fear part
is signaling... |
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RETRAIN THE OLD PART - SEEK ALTERNATIVES |
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now keeping those benefits in mind... because they are good
and you want to keep them... I want to suggest to you Carl that there
are other ways of experiencing... other things you can do that will give
you those benefits... but that are so much better for you overall... that
keep you going in the right direction |
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I would like you to go deep inside your mind again Carl...
and I want you to get in touch with that part of your mind which is creative...
that part of you mind which is imaginative... that can come up with solutions...
different ways... alternatives... |
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And I would like you to work with the part that is maintaining
the fear... and keeping those benefits in mind... come up with a way, or
two ways or maybe even three ways... that you can keep those benefits...
and keep that part happy... while letting go the fear... just leave it
behind... push it aside... |
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Because that part can be retrained... reprogrammed... it
can be revised so that you still get the benefits without the fear... |
D |
Reframe |
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and you can just allow the fear to wither away... can just
drop off like leaves from a tree in the autumn... and you know... letting
that part go doesn't harm the tree... because leaves gradually turn into
soil and the soil nourishes the tree the next year... and the tree grows
and spreads and has fruit... and it's all part of life... letting go of
things... |
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Metaphor: Regeneration |
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and it's safe to let go |
D |
Reassurance |
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So allow that creative part of your mind to work with the
part that has been maintaining the fear... and get those benefits for yourself...
and find a way of just letting go of those old things... let them fall off...
let them shrink and shrivel... drop off... in whatever way makes sense
to you... |
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And you can construct different behaviours... that will
easily substitute for the way you used to get those benefits... and still
get the benefits... and you can take all the time you need... in the next
two minutes... to check that that part of you... the part that you want
to retrain... and your creative part ... and the part of you that wants
to be rid of that fear... and any other parts that need to have a say in
this matter... and just make sure that they are all pointing in the right
direction... that they are all leading you forward the way that you want
to go... and that the new behaviours that are replacing the fear now...
are acceptable to you now... to all of you... to every part of you... and
if you feel somehow.. maybe in your body that there is some part that is
not entirely happy...well that creative part of you can go round again and
find another alternative... until all the parts of you are working together
in the same direction and are giving you those wonderful benefits... and
letting you keep control without having to be controlled... and give you
the way forward you want... |
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and when you can feel inside yourself that you are ready
to move on... and all the parts that are important are lining up.. moving
and changing... getting into a new configuration... then I would like you
to signal again by moving a finger or a thumb... and we will continue... |
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[Finger moves] |
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That's good... that's very good... |
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ANTICIPATION REFRAME |
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| Memory |
And now I would like you to think about times... in the past...when
you used to have a fear... and this could be a time like when you were
on a ferry or a boat or something like that ... |
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| Behaviour |
and knowing that things
have changed now... I would like you to imagine... maybe next week or sometime
beyond that you are going to go on a ferry... and I want you to use that
new found part of you... that shiny bright part that is looking after you
now... I would like you to allow that part to take control... just automatically
be there ... that way that you don't have to do anything ... it will just
happen... |
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and imagine its the day that you are going on the ferry...
and as you are getting ready you feel that familiar tingle.. maybe you feel
it in your stomach... |
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Reframe |
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and that lets you know that things have changed... that things
are different now... and you can look forward... you know you are looking
forward to being on that ferry... maybe for the first time... |
> |
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and you see yourself going towards it...and there's the boat
in front of you ... and once again you feel that, but this time... it's a
feeling of rising excitement... it's a feeling that you are really going
to enjoy this ferry ride... that this one is different.. that this is the
first of the new ones... and you know... that this one is going in the right
direction... |
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TRAVEL INCIDENTS REFRAME |
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and you see yourself driving along or maybe going up the gangplank
and you see yourself finding a seat or you stand and you walk around the
promenade area and you look over the rails... and the boat starts to move and
you can see the wake behind and you can see the land receding... and you
walk around and you take in huge gulps of fresh air... and everything about
seems fresh and new and different... because that part is working now...
that part is keeping you safe and in control... and what you are leaving
behind is that old fear... you just sail away from it... |
> |
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and you get out
into the channel out into the water and once again the boat begins to move
up and down... and you feel that sudden drop... but this time you don't
feel apprehensive... you don't feel panic... you feel fulfilled... this
is what you love doing... this is what you like... |
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Reframe the motion |
| Memory |
and you can feel the things
that other people feel when they go on to a fairground ride... that little
excitement .. They go 'Wow...this is great fun'... and you allow yourself
to enjoy that... and you see all the other people around you going "whoops...
ah... yeah..." |
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and they are all laughing and nudging each other and
looking around the boat goes out and you can see the sailors walking around
and everything's in control... |
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Reframe motion = normal |
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you know that ... and the boat is going forward
the way you want it to do... and suddenly it's up and swooping down and
it's such a laugh... and it's such fun going on that boat.. and you suddenly
realise 'Heh, what was I fearing... there's nothing to fear'. |
D |
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You can actually
enjoy this... now is one of the times when you are not in control and you
are in control and you are feeling so good about it... and it's amazing...
and off the boat goes and there's more waves and up it goes and crashes
down and kids are running around laughing and giggling and all the families
are there and you are just looking there and you are thinking 'This is so
neat' 'This is so much fun... I never realised I could enjoy this...'. |
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And you find yourself thinking a really strange thing...
you are wishing this ferry would go on for longer... because you are having
such fun... |
D |
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and you go along and maybe you have a coffee and a meal and
the thing goes up and down and you spill your coffee and you are laughing
and everyone round about is looking and smiling and it's great... you're
really enjoying that... |
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Metaphor spilling coffee = not important, laugh at it. |
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and before you know it that ferry is docking... and that
little rocking sign as it ties up and you all go down and get in your cars
to go off the boat or whatever... and you look back at that and you just
mentally send a telegram to that new part of yourself and you say "Thanks
buddy... that was great! I really enjoyed that". |
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And it sends back and says "You know, every part of
you is worthwhile... and now we are all pointing in the same direction,
we are all going the same way..." |
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GENERALISE THE CHANGE |
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| Behaviour |
And you find yourself going away from that ferry
and looking back on it with fondness... and you have never really looked
them before and you say... "Yeah, that's another experience I can have
and that will really give me fun". And you are actually looking forward
to going back on the next one... because you know it's going to be a laugh
and you are going to have great fun on it... |
D |
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| Identity |
And you just feel... free... in control... because you have
given up that control to... the engines or the captain or whatever else...
you don't have to worry about it... you can just enjoy that sudden 'whoops'
feeling as everything goes up and down... up and down... and everyone's
laughing... it's a great time ... you really enjoy that... |
D |
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And you can successfully imagine many other contexts ...
many other places where that new part will let you go... and you can enjoy
that too... |
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Generalising the experience |
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And you can enjoy that movement for what it is... just your
sense of balance having fun... |
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Reframe |
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and you can use those new alternatives that new part in all
sorts of things... |
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Generalising |
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THANK THE OLD PART FOR CHANGING |
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and so now I would like you just to... for a
moment... thank that part... the new part... and I would also like you
to thank the old part... the one that's withering away ... because it is
still helping you ... it is still giving you what you want... and it always
intended good for you... it never meant to do anything else... |
I |
Supposition - withering |
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and you can just imagine it now sliding away... leaving it
behind... maybe give it a wave... that's OK. |
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That part understands... because it has been re-created now...
it understands what to do now... to give you that same benefit... and
it's changed into something else... |
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so you can thank that... send it your appreciation... and
really just feel that going all through your body now... it might be a tingle...
or feeling of pressure or something... and you feel grateful... glad for
that experience you had... and grateful that you have changed now... and
looking forward to next weekend and going on a ferry... and having fun
for a change... |
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Suggest somatic experience |
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it will so good.. it will be so different... |
D |
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CONSOLIDATE THE CHANGE |
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and you can just allow yourself to feel that new feeling
of peace and tranquility... that calm feeling... that you have always wanted...
maybe you call it something else... |
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| Capability |
And as you become aware of the heaviness in your arms and
legs and your hands... it will remind of tranquil and calm and peaceful
you can be... because right now ... although I am speaking... you are the
one who is who in control... and that feeling in your arms and legs just
reminds you of that calmness you can have anytime you want... and that
is what control is all about... and you have that always... and that new
part of you will allow you to open up whole new areas... taking new directions..
just the way you want... giving that change you need... |
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| Memory |
and in a very short time you will forget all about that old
fear ... you are forgetting it now... |
D |
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| Identity |
somehow it seems a long way away... it seems as if it was
in another lifetime... as if it was happening to someone else... |
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| Memory |
and maybe sometimes you will think of it fondly... occasionally...
and you can think of all the good things you currently have... and what
you have given up... you have given up all those old feelings... and they
are just not there any more... |
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And you are so relaxed and comfortable now... and feeling
so positive about your success... letting go of that old part... |
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